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These are the words I say to myself everyday.

I'm not alone, not afraid, not unhappy......

☆ Mz_Pink ☆
I'm broken. But then, aren't we all?

Every word, every thought, every sound.
Every touch, every smile, every frown.
All the pain we've endured until now.
All the hope that I lost you have found.

My life went a bit tits up at the beginning of this year. I know that what I've been through, compared to some other people's lives, is not even the tiniest drop in the ocean. But everything is relative, and to me, it was the single most emotionally painful thing that I have been through.

My self-esteem took a pretty strong battering. I've always been a strong, confident person. Now I'm somewhat less, though if you see me out you probably wouldn't think it.

Soulmates are people that come along and change your life, irreversibly. But I didn't need my life to change. I didn't need the pain and the lonliness. I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing a love so intense, so unwavering, so utterly consuming that when it ended I felt as though my entire being was shattered into a million pieces.

What can I say, Karma's a bitch.

However, because of that time in my life, I've met someone.....who makes me laugh more than anyone else. Who loves the fact that I'm batshit crazy, accepts that I'm not always going to be happy, understands my dislike of 'people', doesn't care if I put on a few pounds and lives his life in a way I can understand. Someone who can diffuse my moods with a few words, who can read me so well even though we've only known each other a relatively short time.

I spend half my time at my place, where I live with my housemate glitteredwings and my cat, Jangle. The other half I spend at Kez's, much to my cat's annoyance. Living between two houses is kinda annoying, but I'm not giving up my independance again without some security first.

It kinda makes me sad that I can't totally trust anyone anymore.

But, as a friend said, if it's right then the walls will crumble away on their own. Which scares the shit out of me, to be honest.

So yeah, that's me right now. I DJ a bit, play in a band called Queynte, tho I feel that both of these things I do to an average level. I feel I could be better than I am, but I lack the motivation to do more at the moment.

Love is giving someone the power to hurt you terribly
....and hoping they don't.
And we never trust anyone as easily as we did the first time.

(I also have a Myspace and a Facebook.)


40k, 5f55, accesories, alchohol, amduscia, anime, asian cinema, aslan faction, assemblage 23, badgers, billy talent, birthdays, biscuits, bjork, black, board games, british films, c-drone defect, card games, cats, ccg's, chains on velvet, clan of the cats, clubbing, coen brothers, colony 5, combichrist, comics, computers, crfh, cute girls, cute guys, cyber, cyberdog, dancing, danny dyer, darkwave, days off work, diesel sweeties, djing, dreads, drinking, ebm, electric violin, european cinema, fanstasy, feindflug, festivals, films, gadgets, george rr martin, glis, goth, hair extensions, haribo, hollyoaks, horror, hugs, icon of coil, in nomine, internet, ipod, jackie chan, jupiter, kevin smith, kitties, knightmare, kung fu, l'ame immortelle, lab 4, lamps, lights of euphoria, lost signal, loud music, making things, manufactura, martial arts, martial arts films, masquerade balls, meeting people, megatokyo, micheal gira, monkeys, mono no aware, music, my friends, namnambulu, neurotic fish, panzer ag, partys, piercings, pink, psyclon 9, rammstein, reading, resident evil, rotersand, rpg's, san chia chuan, sarcasm, saw movies, sci-fi, scrap.edx, seabound, sex, shopping, sleeping, smelling like the 90's, smoking, snuggles, some more sex, sonic boom six, steampunk, stromkern, supernatural fiction, supernatural films, tactical sekt, tartan asia, tattoos, tea, teh intertubes, the morning after, the night before, tidying, top gear, tribe, vac, velvet acid christ, vin diesel, vnv nation, wai pi wai, werewolf, wine, xbox 360, xotox


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